If you’ve read Jaden’s and Josie’s birth stories, you know that we spent five long years waiting and hoping for our first baby.
It seems that God was merely waiting for the perfect time for us to start our family because we now have four beautiful babies all within five years!
After my second c-section, I was terrified to become pregnant right away. We were extra careful to prevent pregnancy for nearly a year.
My husband didn’t really want any more children mainly because he worried about me having to undergo another operation.
I sometimes struggle mentally during the times we are taking precautions. I did not grow up Catholic, but my husband did, and we are currently attending mass each week. Over the years, I have become very sympathetic to the Catholic church’s stance on contraception.
They believe that God created sex for two purposes.
Obviously, the first is to create life. But sex is also a way to bring unity to a marital relationship.
The use of contraception can sometimes hinder unity.
I am NOT saying that all types of contraception are immoral. (I do believe some are and that we should choose our methods with care and prayer.) I do believe, however, that there are natural consequences to operating outside God’s design for sex, and I absolutely think that everyone should think through and seek the Lord’s wisdom on whether or not they should use contraception.
After almost a year, the right decision for our family was to trust God’s will and timing for our future family.
We were blown away when once again we became pregnant the very first month.
It is such a shock to go from spending years desperate for a baby to getting pregnant despite preferring not to. Thank goodness, we serve a good God, and He has been faithful through it all.
I was definitely overjoyed to be blessed with another baby. Motherhood has been the greatest gift! But I was also not eager for the c-section that was likely in my future. My husband was also excited yet anxious.
After receiving little to no support for a VBAC with my second pregnancy, I assumed that nobody would support a VBA2C.
Even so, I asked my provider about my options at the very first appointment.
I was right.
While she did not outright tell me that I could not attempt a VBAC, she made it very clear that she did not support the decision and cautioned against it.
My husband also did not want me to pursue a VBAC, and so I resigned myself to the idea that in August 2020, I’d be rolling back to the operating room for a major surgery that I’d rather not have.
Inside, I was secretly hoping and praying that my body would spontaneously go into labor before my scheduled c-section date.
Unfortunately, that was not the case, and my experience with my third pregnancy was by far the worst.
I found out I was pregnant in December 2019, and as we all know, the world turned upside down in March of 2020.
I was not happy about “15 days to slow the spread,” but I remember thinking to myself, “Thank goodness this will all be over by the time my baby is born.”
WRONG!
When the 15 days turned into 30, I began to get worried.
It didn’t help that I live in a small town and began to hear stories of moms being forced to wear a mask during their entire labor and loved ones being barred from the hospital.
Whenever I asked the doctor at my appointments if my husband would be allowed in the hospital, she would tell me that “for now” he could accompany me, but she could not guarantee that would be the case on my baby’s birthday.
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
ALL hospital patients – not just laboring moms – should ALWAYS be allowed to have at least one person to accompany them. Patients in hospitals are in an incredibly vulnerable state, and every single one deserves to have someone by their side to advocate for them.
I will now step down from my soap box so I can continue my story…
I left nearly every appointment in tears, particularly the one where they informed me that my husband would not be allowed in the operating room with me.
“I don’t understand,” I snipped sarcastically when the doctor told me. “We’ll all be wearing masks. Don’t they protect us? And the operating room is big enough for him to stand six feet away. I thought COVID couldn’t travel more than six feet.”
I burst into angry tears right there in the office. She STILL would not guarantee that my husband would be allowed entry into the hospital for the birth.
Anyone who has had a c-section knows how horrifying the thought of being alone in a hospital would be. The first few hours after the operation, you are pretty much incapacitated as you wait for the effects of the spinal to wear off. For the first day or so, it is incredibly painful and nearly impossible to get out of bed without assistance. My husband has always taken care of all the newborn babies’ needs while in the hospital, and I cannot even imagine what I would have done had he been barred.
At one of my last appointments, I about lost my mind.
My doctor informed me that I would need a COVID test before my operation. (Just in case you needed another example of the stupidity we were asked to adhere to during COVID, they had me take a test TWO days before the procedure.)
I asked her what would happen if the test were positive.
Would they force me to “social distance” from my baby?
When she told me that they would, I am ashamed to say that I did not respond with gentleness and respect like we are commanded to.
I cannot recall exactly what I said. Suffice it to say, she was very aware of just exactly what I thought about the corrupt medical system and the cowardly doctors like her who do not do anything to fight against the bureaucratic overreach of the hospitals!
I'm sorry. I have to step down off my soap box AGAIN!
The last few weeks of my pregnancy were not fun. I was not only anxious about the uncertainty of what my experience in the hospital would be like, I was also downright angry at the injustice of being robbed of my freedom to make my own healthcare decisions.
I am pretty sure this led to a season of panic attacks a few months after my daughter’s birth.
In the end, my husband was allowed in the hospital (praise Jesus!), but not in the operating room or triage (make it make sense!)
The nurses were honestly wonderful and did what they could to make it as pleasant as possible. It was very clear that most of them did not agree with the restrictions, but their hands were tied. They followed the ridiculous rules of the hospital but found ways to bend them where they could.
The SYSTEM is what is broken. There are so many wonderful people working within the broken system, and I am so grateful for them.
The c-section went smooth, but our first few days with our newborn daughter were horrible.
We were locked in our room like caged animals for nearly 3 days.
Walking is SO important for a quick c-section recovery. With my previous two, despite the pain, I dedicated myself to walking the halls nearly every hour when I wasn’t sleeping. I felt like a caged lion at the zoo since I had to content myself with pacing back and forth in our confined quarters.
My first two births were shaking me awake.
After my third pregnancy and the COVID craziness, I am now WIDE AWAKE, and I am ready to fight hard for medical freedom and informed consent.
It is up to US to demand better!
I got my first chance to do just that with my fourth pregnancy. You can read about it here.
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